Do you know? Wait, do I know?

I don't have the perfect opening line for this post, so I guess I'm just going to start on a rather random note. As the title suggests, this piece is probably going to be either a list full of questions, or may be just a list full of various questions around one particular question we keep asking, mostly to ourselves. The sentence is probably too long and there are chances that you've not understood what I meant. And the work that I do, doesn't really permit me to write long sentences, but hey, I'm not working at this moment. Also, this is a special note for someone. You know who you are.

Very often, I think (for those who know me, that's huge) and ask myself- do I really know where I'm headed, what I want, and what I'm really doing? Mistakes happen- several times- but it's whether you understand that you've done a mistake or not. It's whether you let it happen again or not. I've made several wrong, silly, thoughtless decisions, which I don't necessarily regret, but they always, and very invariably lead to one thing- do I know who I really am? I often wonder if I really understand myself as much as I think I do. May be, may be not. May be I'm delusional. But at every stage in life, you discover something about yourself, which you never knew existed within you. You may think you're strong, capable of handling every situation, and other such things, but at a time when you break down because you feel so helpless, you realise that what you thought of yourself isn't really the truth. It has happened with me, and I'm still in a phase where I'm coming to terms with it. And it's not a bad thing, if you give it a deep thought. But, what next? Do I know what or how to deal with this in a manner that's if not right, then at least best suited for this situation? Do I know how to not be dependent upon someone else- who I know will be there for me out of love, care and concern- and rather pick up these broken pieces and put them together myself? 

That may take time, no shit! But do I know that I am capable of doing it? Am I too scared to take the risk of trying and figuring out if I can do it? I don't know, and I wouldn't until I give it a chance. I've lost count of how many times I've racked my brains over finding the 'right' solution. I've definitely come to realise that just thinking about it is not going to help. I need to, I must and I have to believe in myself first, and then believe in the fact that this will get over- may be not soon, but at some point it will. 

He you, I hope this brings a smile to your face. And believe you me, I will do what I said and promised us I will.

Lots of love. 

If you love it, do it!

This is bad. Yes, it really is! I haven't blogged since August. And it is really funny that I haven't because I've written so much over the months, but somehow never published anything.

Sometimes, we just get so involved in things and people around us, or rather our life in general, that we tend to ignore doing something we actually love.

Our daily rountine involves work, meeting friends and more often than usual, we're tired as hell by the end of the day. A lot of times we ignore meeting 'this one' and 'that one'. Either it is out of choice of due to lack of time. But at some point, we make sure or rather make the effort to make it up to the person we dithced. Why don't we do that we something we love to do?

In my case, that one thing is blogging. I thoroughly enjoy it, but at the same time, I have some reason to postpone it. Why? I still wonder! Its not that I don't write, but for some reason I don't write things I would want to publish. Why is that? No answer!

Looking back at the last few months, I've now realised that ignoring something one really enjoys doing is not really the best decision. Do what your heart wants you to. Do what gives you happiness. It could be something as silly as cleaning your room. Bizarre, I know! But if it makes YOU happy, then do it.

Make sure this new year, you will do what makes you happy! Make sure that if there's something you love to do, you will do it!

Happy New Year!

Cooking up a story!

Heaven sends us good meat, but the Devil sends cooks, so said David Garrick. Well meat or no meat- a good cook will always know how to make you feel delighted with what is served on the table. Even making an ordinary salad taste extraordinary is a skill; a skill I’d like to possess some day. Just to make it clear, it’s not that I can’t cook, but I certainly can’t cook as good as a few people I know.

To an extent, I would say, you need to enjoy cooking more than just ‘liking’ it. Also, you need to have the willingness to experiment, take criticism in the right stride and needless to say, make yourself worthy of earning appreciation. Following someone’s recipe may sound easy, but when you actually get to doing it, it is not a cakewalk. This is probably why I actually understand how it feels when someone cooks something for you and eagerly awaits your reply. I’ve been there and my ears have wanted to hear a few pleasant words. I have, but sometimes, I’ve heard just the opposite of what I’d like to. But after a few errors, I’ve finally mastered a few recipes.

I’ve been cooking a lot of late, been trying my hand at new recipes- some traditional, some not. Somehow, I’ve been enjoying the process so much, that my interest in cooking is growing deeper by the day. And the reason why I developed such a hobby is probably because of all those wonderful cooks around me. My interest grew deeper every time I tasted some new, something different, something so well made.

Every person’s style of cooking is different and well, it’s their own unique style, I’d say. There’s so much you can learn from them. I guess, that’s the only way you can actually come up with a whole new recipe on your own. And yes, I aim to do that someday.

There’s a lot I can say, rather I want to say. But I guess I’ll leave that for a real, one-on-one conversation. To sum it up, I just want to say that this write up is actually a big thank you to all those wonderful men and women who’ve been generous enough to feed me some brilliant food. More than thank you, it’s sort of my way of appreciating them.

Something's still missing

A day, or for that matter, even just a couple of hours in Mumbai can be quite entertaining. For now, let’s take a day in my side of the city, South Mumbai, for example.

My day began as usual- same old wake up, laze around, read the newspapers, etc. Just as I was about to begin work on a project, the red light of my phone started to flicker. Me being me, I was in my own world thinking of things that would make an article (read my article) an interesting read. It was then that my phone decided to vibrate and I finally realised that it was time I took a look at it.

It was a message; a message that marked the start of a new project. Excited as ever, I quickly dressed up and in no time I was out of home and on my way to Nariman Point.

I’d rather not mention the meeting in detail, but it was hilarious to say the least. Although, until then the day was so-so, but from then on it kept getting better.

Walking down the Free Press Journal road never seemed like it could be this much fun. Just a quiet stroll on a street which is surrounded with offices- corporate to media- taking in the aroma of the freshly fried samosas, bhajiyasand vadas; waiting for the cutting chaiwala to give you that perfect bumbai ki chai and well, reading just another newspaper. 

Somehow, it felt like I was supposed to do it all. I’ve been wanting to a lot of things, even though they seem silly, but yes, I’ve always wanted to do all these things and more, preferably alone.

Continuing, I’ve always enjoyed talking to cab drivers. It’s funny, but knowing about their lives fascinates me. Everyone has a different story which on the whole somehow sounds the same, but in reality it isn’t. So, coming back to my day, I took a cab from Nariman Point to Cuffe Parade (one of my favourite parts of the city). We seemed to have spotted a lot of policemen on the way. After fishing out information from fellow cabbies/passengers and a cop, we realised some VIP was coming to town. I was in my own reverie when the cabbie suddenly turned around and asked me, “Medumji, aapne Wednesday picture dekha hai?” He meant the movie ‘A Wednesday’. I answered saying yes. He then asked, “Kya mast movie tha, na? Ek akela aadmi terrace pe baith sabki band baja dalta hai. Terrorist log bhi kaise hote hai na? Aur apni police ko dekho, dum hi nahi hai saalon mein.” That one little conversation was so perfectly timed. Him talking about a movie and how lame the Mumbai cops are- all of it while we were passing Regal cinema and the Police Headquarters. Also, what he said wasn’t entirely wrong either.

Finally, after knowing a little more about his background and discussing the movie and of course, chasing all the traffic, I managed to reach my destination. While at my aunts, what I particularly enjoyed the most was sitting by the balcony, sipping on a cup of hot coffee and simply letting the breeze kiss my cheeks. Our endless talks involved tons of gossip, giggles and girlie chats.

By the time I left from there, I was convinced that a well spent morning and afternoon certainly did call for a lovely evening. And I was right. Visiting Café Mondegar was next. When they say two’s company, they’re absolutely right. Two of us, a pitcher of beer, beef chilly, great songs being played on the jukebox accompanied by some stupid, some funny and some lovely conversations- all of it equaled to perfection, at least to me. Of course, the evening then proceeded into a fun night with a lot more people and a different location.

When I returned home later in the night, I came back with mixed feelings. I was satisfied, happy, little high; but somewhere amidst it all, I was still looking for something, waiting for something, longing for something!

Rain, rain come again!

I just realised that I haven’t updated my blog in a while. Never mind! I guess I was busy, lazy or just not in the mood. So, I’ve got to writing again. But while I’m doing this, all I can think about is a good topic to write on. But then, who needs a topic? I can just write on whatever comes to my mind. Let’s just talk about this lovely weather- Aah! The rains!

Since day before, the climate has been beautiful. The unbearable heat has finally disappeared (thank god for that). The heavy rainfall seems to have changed everyone’s mood. Since the first heavy showers, whenever I checked my phone for updates, everyone’s BBM status had something related to the rains- whether it was a verse from a poem, a statement or even an emoticon- it all had something to do with the rains.

My idea of enjoying this kind of weather is sitting down with a glass of chilled beer/ rum, putting on some great music, calling over some friends (or going over to someone’s house) and having some great conversations. Also, some good food that can make you feel better. When you’re in a cosy environment and you have all the required elements for a perfect evening, you know you’re going to have a great time.

Life is all about these little moments. All these precious memories that are stored in your head and these mental notes that you make is when you realise how privileged you are to have it all. Of course, at one point I thought Rebecca Black ruined all weekends for me for the rest of my life, but then I was like, “Hey, wtf! I can always have just ‘fun’ instead of ‘fun, fun, fun’ and still be satisfied.”

Coming back to the main topic, this weekend has been splendid. Perfect weather, perfect company and perfect everything else. I couldn’t have asked for more. Sometimes such things make me forget all my problems and let go off all the stress. This weather is magical.

Realisation!

Writing has always fascinated me. Whether it's mine or someone else's, it just seems fascinating. I especially love it when people realise how much fun it is penning down their thoughts, feelings and emotions. Whether the realisation is early or late, it doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that now you finally know what you enjoy doing.

For some, writing is just a hobby, while for some (including me) it is more than just that. For me it's my hobby, my profession, my way of letting all my thoughts out in the open and now, practically a way of life. I've lost count of the number of diaries I've written and not let a single person read and sometimes, even know. At that time, it was mainly because I didn't write for anyone to read and I honestly didn't think my writing was worthy enough of being read. But after much contemplation and a huge argument with myself, I realised that my writing is not for the world to like or dislike. My writing is for me. Whether anyone likes it or no doesn't really matter. What matters is that after I've penned it all down, I'm happy and I'm at peace with myself.

I'm glad that today, at this point, I've got the platform to learn and showcase my work. I'm happy that with each passing day, I learn something new, something more and with each passing day, my passion for writing deepens. And all of this is because of that one day when I realised that this is what I enjoy doing and this is what I will do.

What matters in this life is realisation...it could be about anything, absolutely anything!

Those weird things

Those weird things you feel at times. Sometimes you don't realise for yourself. Those thoughts are so different. I'm listening to one of my favourite songs right now. I have great company, but never did I think that I would get up in the middle of something to just write this.
I just feel so different. It certainly is a great feeling. I feel happy, stupid, funny, blaah to say the least, but I love it. I'm thinking so many different things at this point in time. In fact, sometime back, I was going through my old posts and I realised that even though what I wrote back then, be it even just a month ago, it was all so different.
I feel like a new person today. I feel like a new life all together. Life keeps changing every minute. I learnt so many new things in the last one month. Learnt things to the extent where I had to be given a reality check by my dear friends and myself as to what I was doing. I don't know who to thank and who to apologise to, but nevertheless, I hope it ain't too late- so SORRY and THANK YOU to all those who've really been there and will always be there.
I feel like singing this song out aloud, but more importantly, I want to write this down. Like someone who is with me at the moment says, "It probably is the moment of inspiration." Well said but I don't know if it is just that. May be it is that with so many other feelings together. May be it is the time for me to just let it all out.
So, here I go all out in the open- I may not be the best at doing this, but I thoroughly enjoy it. This feeling of having mixed feelings gives me this sudden boost to start somethings afresh, repair some damaged relationships and to take along some new formed ones. It is absolutely great.
You may not actually enjoy reading this, but somewhere, I'm sure you might just relate to what I'm saying!
La Life!